004: Adult ADHD

I’ve never been officially diagnosed, but am quite certain that I have adult ADHD. I had never considered it until a friend of mine was diagnosed and got medication and it changed her life. I am debating getting assessed myself to see if it fits.

Oh look! Squirrel!

Did you know that the human head weighs eight pounds?

Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah, ADHD. I find that many of my character defects fall into the realm of a few different categories. Those are addiction, ADHD, procrastination and a need for a bit of anger management (the last one being mostly when trying to navigate the potential mine field that is raising a soon-to-be teenager). I like to refer to myself as a beautiful mess. I am trying to learn about my various “enhancements”, embrace them as much as I can, and learn from them so that I can be a better human. It’s not easy. Much of it is the result of trauma experienced during childhood. Why I waited so long to dive into it and start to try to “figure me out” is a mystery to me. But no time like the present, right?

Did you know that when you own a Roku, the screensaver looks like a fish tank and you can watch the fish swim around for hours? There’s even one that has a striking resemblance to Nemo. Yes, I am just full of useless information.

So in my “journey of self-discovery”, one of the chapters is going to be digging into ADHD, figuring out if I have it, getting treatment if necessary, and hopefully improving myself as a result. People in my life might notice that I have a hard time focusing, often have a mountain of tasks to do but never end up starting any of them, or that my brain literally never stops.

Have you ever really listened to the sounds that a squirrel makes? There is one in my back yard right this very instant and I could swear it is barking at me in its own way, almost as if it’s telling me to stay off its turf. We live by a corn field and there are a lot of husks in our yard. No doubt delivered to us by the gang of squirrels that inhabit our tree line. They are quite entertaining characters. Perhaps I should do an entire blog on squirrels. What say you my one reader? Alas, I have gone into another tangent.

I try to make light of my abrupt shifts in focus, but they really do plague me more than I like to admit. Sometimes I can hyperfocus on something. Other times I can’t focus at all. Sometimes I can seem lazy, but in my mind I know that the sheer weight of a simple task like getting out of bed can seem like a mountain to me. I sometimes have to force myself to do that very thing, and start the day by making my bed to get one accomplishment under my belt. That seems to make it easier to do other tasks throughout the day.

I am not sure if this post even has a point. I tend to ramble sometimes, and today is one of those days. But this is my blog, and I can ramble if I want to!

I wasn’t kidding when I made my tagline “Welcome to my brain; enter if you dare.”

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